Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Fighting Fierce and Waiting

After a good week and a half of fighting on the losing side of a cold, I think (think) I've finally come out the other end.  I'm not used to taking time to 'rest' and 'recover,' so yesterday, when I nearly passed out trying to walk to class, I took the hint and retreated to my den, where I made soup and generally stared at the walls because concentrating hurt.

I eventually settled on watching the Fantastic Four.

There's a reason behind my manic work ethic.
I am a Water-based personality, with bits of Fire thrown in.  What this means is, I don't give up.  If something blocks my path, I'll either burn it down or go around it.  Simple.  So when my life feels like it does now, I start to panic.  I set small fires to watch them burn, start new projects and spread myself thin in hopes of finding new ground.  Because right now, life is waiting.

I can feel it, though, the Next Big Thing.  It's not here yet, and I don't know when it will arrive, but I keep thinking of something my professor said a few weeks back, when I was in the pub and moaning about being unpublished.

"But, you have to take some comfort in knowing that you will be published."

There was an assurance in the way he said it, like it was just a matter of fact.
And that's why I don't settle.  Because maybe breaking into the market with an epic gay fantasy series is as difficult as everyone says it is.  Maybe the Next Big Thing is sitting unfinished on my harddrive, or percolating in the back of my brain.  Whatever the case, I'm not stopping until I get there.

I might have to keep waiting for that moment to arrive, but you damn well better believe I'll be fighting tooth and claw to get there, stat.


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